Where’s Fall?

This is NOT Texas

Fall.

Autumn.

My favorite time of year.

The weather is getting pleasantly cool, the nights are getting longer, the Fall foliage is in full colorful display………..

Except I live in Texas.

It was 103 here yesterday.

ONE HUNDRED and THREE freaking degrees on October 7th! It’s October………mere weeks from Halloween, and my damn air conditioning is still running ALL NIGHT LONG!!

The grass is still growing..

The trees are still just as full as they were months ago….

The bugs are still everywhere.

And the cars and grass are still soaking wet every morning………from the humidity.

I hate the weather here in Texas.

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Uh oh.

The kid got called into the Managers office at his job at the grocery store last night. The manager basically told the kid that he was one of their best employees, had a great work ethic, and since he had been there over a year, he deserved a raise. The kid was expecting the manager to give him the usual .25 cents per hour raise that everyone usually gets. Nope.

The kid got a $1.00 per hour raise!

And he fully deserves it. He just put in working 7 straight days, has been putting in 30 hour weeks while still going to school during the week, has been getting himself up and off to school in the mornings, and is on the A/B Honor Roll at school.

Well done Kid!

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Well…… I think it’s cute……….

I sit with the baby sitting on my belly, facing me, and have taught her to talk to me and stick her tongue out at me. It’s the cutest thing. Two months old and she sits there inches from my face, with us making little baby noises back and forth, as we stick out our tongues at each other.

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“My opponent is secretly a member of ISIS and actually participated in the gruesome beheading of an innocent westerner”

That is about the ONLY thing I have not yet heard or read on any of the hundreds of negative political ads burying us voters here in Texas this election season. I stress “yet”………. cause the ads have gotten nearly to that point…….with many weeks to go yet.

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It costs up to $75 PER VEHICLE to park at the Cowboys Football stadium in Arlington. Even $40 per car if you want to walk a mile to the stadium. Then, you get to the stadium and tickets for two might cost you another $200, along with another $100 for food and drinks. Some of the many reasons why I have yet to attend a single NFL football game. The kid and I are going to another MLS soccer game in a few weeks, watching FC Dallas play the Portland Timbers. Our tickets were $10 each and parking is free. And there is only one level of seating at the stadium, so there is not a bad seat in the place.

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NHL Hockey starts tonight.

Ice Hockey.

Did I mention it was 103 here yesterday???

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Bryan Cranston and my Gerbil

I am still slowly but surely making my way through watching all the seasons of “Breaking Bad” on Netflix. I had read about Anthony Hopkins, you know, the Academy Award-winning actor, sending Bryan Cranston a hand-written note in which he told Cranston that his work on “Breaking Bad” was the best acting he had ever seen, from anyone.

I can see how he would say that. It’s hard to believe you are watching “Hal” from “Malcolm in the Middle” portraying Walter White.

His is one of my favorite autographs in my collection, from his “Hal” days, because he wrote a personal message to me regarding the emails I had been sending him, in which I spelled out some gibberish about my pet gerbil being in peril if Cranston did not send me an autograph.

He’s still the second-friendliest celebrity I dealt with during my autograph-collecting days…

behind Martin Sheen.

Still the nicest guy on the planet, hands down.

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On a serious note…

The Liberian gentleman with Ebola in Dallas passed away this morning.

If any good can come from this tragedy, it is that the handling of the case in Dallas was so inept on so many levels that it has surely given a blueprint to the rest of the country on what NOT to do when facing an Ebola crisis.

Things here might get worse before they get better.

Last week, I wrote about the county sent five sheriff’s deputies to the infected apartment in order to serve quarantine orders on the four people still living there, who all had close contact with the victim. The deputies all entered the apartment, in which the Ebola patient had lived while sick, without any kind of protective clothing whatsoever. While the four people living the apartment were not showing any signs of sickness themselves, there were still lots of contaminated items that had come into contact with the victim still in the apartment. After news got out about the deputies, they were immediately placed on paid leave and sent home to be monitored. Their uniforms were all confiscated and bagged, and their patrol cars were taken out of service, even though they and their families were told that there was nothing to worry about.

This might be a false alarm, but this afternoon, a sick man has turned up at a clinic in a Dallas suburb. The Police have now taped off the mans SUV in the parking lot and word is out that this man may have Ebola-like symptoms. This man had “indirect contact” with the Ebola victim. How?

The man at the clinic is rumored to be one of the sheriff’s deputies that entered the apartment last week, according to the tweets of a local TV reporter.

If that’s true, this is just another sad chapter in the total mishandling and ineptitude of the local authorities in relation to how they handled the Ebola patient.

Ebolapalooza 2014: The first victim is claimed

Friday Oct 3, 2014

The four individuals who had the closest contact with the Ebola victim are under strict quarantine in their apartment. Armed Police are stationed outside the apartment to make sure no one leaves. (And to take care of any residents that may turn into zombies)

Overhead, Governor Rick Perry is doing a shift in a Texas Air National Guard Aircraft which has been circling above the apartment complex for the past week.

The aircraft, which is usually used to assault with high-powered automatic weaponry any illegals trying to cross the border into Texas, has now been transferred to Dallas for use in the “War on Ebola”.

The big scandal now developing here in Dallas involves the rather inept response to the Ebola quarantine situation at the apartment complex.

Four relatives, including at least two children, are not allowed to leave the “infected” apartment for any reason.

These four individuals had the greatest amount of contact with the infected gentleman and are deemed to be most at risk for actually contracting and spreading Ebola.

So, where do you quarantine four people at high risk of Ebola? In a tiny apartment in the middle of a densely populated urban city, that’s where. Oh yeah, and just in case they have not YET been infected, you make them live with all the possibly contaminated materials for another 5 days or so…..just to be sure they do indeed get Ebola.

Apparently, many materials that came into contact with the Ebola patient, such as bedding, towels, etc. have been in the Apartment all week, despite the fact that the CDC has visited the apartment on multiple occasions.

Finally, authorities were able to find a “hazardous materials clean-up” company that would agree to take on the job of removing and disposing of all the potentially infected materials from the apartment.

That company, called “The Cleaning Guys” (I’m serious), showed up on Thursday to clean the apartment, but were turned away because they did not have the proper permits.

The Government called these people to come clean up…….and then sent them away because they did not have the required Government permits. That makes total sense.

Who knew the State of Texas had an “Ebola Clean-Up Permit”?

Friday rolled around and “The Cleaning Guys” are once again at the Apartment complex, but have hit another snag. They apparently need yet ANOTHER permit, from the Department of Transportation, in order to transport the Ebola-infected materials on public highways.

Who knew the DOT had a “Ebola Transportation Permit”?

The way this saga is unfolding, they won’t need a transportation permit because they’ll probably just toss the bags of infected items into the nearest dumpster behind a local grocery store.

Late afternoon…..

“The Cleaning Guys”…… which I think is really a group of middle-aged latin women housekeepers…… is now in the apartment. Outside, a vehicle in the parking lot has been wrapped in what appears to be the world’s largest GLAD bag. I assume this vehicle once transported the Ebola victim and this vehicle has now ended up in “Vehicular Quarantine” (The XXXXXL Trash Bag) until the State can blow it up…..I mean…dispose of it.

The Lt. Governor of the State of Texas is now being interviewed live on CNN. (Remember, our Governor is manning the circling gunship overhead)

The Lt. Gov is making great pains to point out that the State of Texas is tackling this Ebola issue as quickly as possible. “Every step is being taken to insure the safety of the public and of those persons being quarantined in the apartment”.

CNN’s Jake Tapper asks if making the family stay in an apartment with soiled and infected materials for 5 days after the man was admitted to the hospital is truly “acting as quickly as possible” and is “ensuring their safety”. Like a true politician, the Lt. Gov smiles broadly and goes off-topic as quickly as possible. (This is all Obama-care’s fault)

Mr. Tapper asks about the FIVE Sheriff’s Deputies that showed up at the Apartment a few nights earlier in order to serve the family members the papers ordering them to be under house arrest while they are quarantined. Of course, none of those five deputies were wearing any protective clothing or masks during the time they spent in the apartment, but once again, the Lt. Governor stresses that EVERY possible precaution is being taken……..yadda yadda yadda………. you know, except for actually using protective gear…….

(Those deputies are now on paid leave as they are being “monitored” for possible Ebola exposure)

Early evening……..

Gunfire has been reported from the circling gunship.

No worries. The Governor just took out a stray coyote he saw running across a vacant lot. Our Governor is not a friend to the Coyote Community in Texas, having blasted one of the creatures with his handgun while on a morning jog in Austin a few years ago.

So far, the lone Ebola victim is holding his own.

The only casualty is a lone coyote.

As the evening news continues, the Dallas County District Attorney is on the TV announcing that he is considering filing formal charges against the Ebola victim.

His clerks are busy checking the law books and ordinances to locate the “No Ebola in Dallas County” law that the man surely broke.

and finally…

School children all over North Texas are getting a crash course in Ebola Prevention and Treatment….

To be continued……

Ebolamageddon 2014 Update: Torch-carrying Mobs!

“You’ve always known she’s the right one for you….”

“You never know when the mood might strike you….”

(Today’s North Texas Ebola Outbreak Update is brought to you by Cialis)

Thursday.

8:01AM

I rolled over, fumbled around for the TV remote with my eyes still closed, and turned on the DVR and TV. Still half-asleep, I punched up the local ABC affiliate to see if Ebolamageddon had been unleashed during the overnight hours.

The TV comes on to reveal an endless mass of stopped cars and trucks snarling a busy Dallas freeway. I’m afraid it’s happened. The masses are fleeing for the hills, though we have no hills to speak of, so they are doing the next best thing………. the masses are fleeing the infected disease-ravaged city and are headed north……….. to the world’s largest Casino which just happens to sit on the Texas/Oklahoma border.

The Winstar!

When fleeing a Zombie or Ebolamageddon catastrophe, always seek shelter in the nearest Indian Casino. Everyone knows that.

Oh wait………

False alarm.

It turns out that this is just normal 8AM traffic in Dallas. These are obviously the worker bees that have to be at work at Noon. They hit the freeway at 5AM and although they are currently stopped in gridlock, they are right on schedule to arrive at work on time in just 4 more hours.

No fleeing of the masses. Whew! We dodged a bullet!

Uh oh!

9:27AM

Is the beginning of the end?

The local TV station is now providing disturbing coverage of a huge mass of people gathered around a large building in downtown Dallas. Most of the people are carrying torches or weapons. Camouflage seems to be the color-choice of the day. Armed police are seen to be guarding the front doors of the building.

Is this the Health Department? Is the mob demanding free Ebola shots? What’s going on??????

Oh wait.

A reporter is speaking to a mob spokesman. The dentally-challenged gentleman brandishing 13 firearms, a belt full of grenades, and who is brandishing a large pitchfork, is seem to be demanding that “all the diseased librarians come out of the building immediately……. or else!!”

Librarians?

Good Lord!

The mob has surrounded the Dallas County Public Library in search of diseased Librarians!

The TV reporter tries to gently inform the fellow that it was a LIBERIAN gentleman who is infected, you know, a citizen of the nation of LIBERIA, and that it was not a LIBRARIAN, nor a citizen from the nation of LIBRARY that had the awful disease.

In a split second, upon hearing this news, the crowd calms and people look at each other in confusion, trying to figure out what to do next. Someone wearing a bright blue “Welcome to Wal-Mart. How may I help you?” vest jumps atop a park bench and starts screaming at the mob to get them fired back up.

As you guessed, the Anti-Infected Librarian mob scene instantly morphed into a torch and gun-carrying Anti-Obamacare rally.

Outside a public Library………..NOT filled with infected Librarians.

Welcome to Texas.

12:23PM

CNN has yet more BREAKING NEWS!

A killer asteroid has been spotted by Astronomers. This asteroid will most likely impact the earth sometime next week and could very well spell the end of life on the planet as we know it.

Now back to the non-stop Ebola coverage.

Good Grief!

Killer Asteroids and Infected Librarians?

Is this all a Monty Python movie?

Uh oh…..

Word now that a person in a Honolulu hospital is being closely monitored for possible Ebola…

You Honolulu Librarians might want to take off work early and head home before the confused mob arrives.

Once again, this Ebolamageddon 2014 update has been brought to you by Cialis, the official erectile dysfunction medication of Ebolamageddon 2014.

Immediately seek medical attention for signs of Ebola or for any erection lasting 4 hours or more.

To be continued………..

North Texas Ebola Epidemic Update

Oct 1, 2014

How many more days until Anderson Cooper is televising live from EBOLA HEADQUARTERS USA?

As I type this, it has been Less than 24 hours since the announcement of the first confirmed case of EBOLA in the US, right here in Dallas, Texas.

Actually, over in Dallas…….

Seeing as how I live about 80 miles Northwest of Dallas.

80 Miles……………. hmmmmm………… using math derived from “The Walking Dead” TV series, I figure we have about a two-week window of freedom before the Zombies shuffle their way over to my town………. assuming of course that Ebola patients shuffle at the same speed as actual zombies…

Anywaaaaaayyyyy………

Like I said, Wednesday the 1st of October was the first full day of what will undoubtedly be called the “North Texas Ebola Epidemic of 2014“.

The local media is, of course, doing their very best to tell viewers one minute that you have virtually NO CHANCE IN HELL of contracting this disease, while hurriedly instructing viewers how to cut-off infected limbs and how to safely euthanize less than desirable family members that may contract Ebola during the very next minute.

When will local TV media and CNN come up with some ominous theme music to put on every time a “Breaking News” Ebola update comes on?

Things got REAL serious when the local affiliate decided that this little Ebola outbreak was somehow more important than showing the current episode of “Days of our Lives”.

What do they show during the time period in which “Days” is supposed to be airing? You got it! Endless coverage of aerial video of the outside of the affected Hospital, courtesy of the still-circling news helicopter.

Somehow I find it reassuring to know that the hospital has not moved or changed its appearance during the past 24 hours of live shots of the roof and exterior windows.

I still can’t figure out the need for the TV helicopter. Are they expecting the infected man to stand in his bubble suit and wave from the window while holding a “Hi Mom!” sign?

The worst sight was Wednesday morning.

Our Governor, Rick “Good Hair” Perry spoke to reassure the state and national masses. He has long presided over an ad campaign in which he urged people and businesses to move to Texas. Well, apparently the Ebola Virus heeded the ad as well.

The Gov’s news conference revealed the little nugget that the ER Nurse who first saw the patient last FRIDAY, DID ask him about his recent travels, at point the man said he had come from Liberia. This little nugget did NOT get passed on to the Doctors who actually treated the man, and they then sent him home with antibiotics thinking he had the Flu. Two days later, he came back via Ambulance, and it was then they tested him for Ebola.

Our Governor made a great effort to portray that this man could not have come to a finer institution in the country and that there was not any hospital better prepared to treat Ebola than that particular hospital in Dallas…

Except for that little part about them letting him walk out the door for two days…….WHILE HE HAD FULL-BLOWN EBOLA!

During the day Wednesday, word got out about the identity of the infected man and about his contacts and travels in the Dallas area. Soon, the School District had 5 students in 4 schools that had all had contact with the man. All day long, parents flooded the schools and took their kids out of school, worried their children would become infected as well. The media named the Apartment complex where he had been staying with family. Early reporters that showed up at the complex, talked to the manager and some residents, all of whom said no one from the Health Service or CDC had yet contacted them. The first they knew of this man being in their complex was from the media.

Media now says that the man might have been responsible for up to 100 people being on his “contact list” of people that may have to be watched closely.

Local TV weather folks are now adding Ebola information to the weather forecast, telling viewers the best escape routes, where the shortest lines are at grocery stores and gun shops, and reminding viewers of the wind directions and speeds so that they can remain upwind from any infected persons.

The media reports that one person is already under “close monitoring”.

What does that mean?

I envision a frightened woman, curled up on the couch, trying to watch TV, while across the room, a half-dozen people in Haz-Mat suits all stand motionless…………..just “monitoring” her………

If the poor woman sneezes, coughs, or farts,…………… she is immediately shot with a tranquilizer gun, her lifeless body is put into a bubble suit, and then she is transported to the “Hot Zone” isolation ward at the hospital.

“Just to be on the Safe Side”

By late in the day, the TV helicopter has started providing riveting overhead coverage of the parked ambulance that was used to take the infected man to the hospital. Red “Haz-Mat” tape is surrounding what is now the most famous ambulance in Dallas history. Dallas Fire Rescue officials, who’s ambulance it is, tell the media that the Ambulance will be “properly treated” in order to ensure public safety. I envision a large bottle of Lysol disinfectant spray and some bleach might do the trick, but being Texas, I know that Governor Perry will probably order the Air National Guard to drop a small thermo-nuclear weapon onto the vehicle during the middle of the night in order to protect us citizens from the killer virus running rampant in that empty ambulance.

You hear a loud boom, feel some shaking, and see a small mushroom cloud off in the distance towards Texas……don’t worry…….. that’s just us taking care of business!

As the day ended, a lone Dallas Police patrol car is seen blocking the entrance to the hospital.

Is that to keep people out of the hospital………..or is to keep something IN?…………… hmmmmmmm………..

To be continued…..

Ebola Outbreak 2014…………. Terror on the dusty plains of North Texas

The End is Near!

By the time you read this, I will probably have the Ebola Virus and will be mere days away from the family burying me out back in the garden alongside two of our long-deceased cats.

Yes, as you probably heard by now, the Ebola Virus has now struck the shores of the USA……….with those shores being right here in the Dallas, Texas area.

The word broke late yesterday afternoon on local TV news.

Within seconds, the countdown had begun.

“FOX NEWS BLAMES OBAMA IN 5…4….3….2…..1…..”

Panic set in almost immediately.

The local network TV stations did not even show the Nightly National News so that they could stay on the air to keep the public informed. Of course, by the time the Prime-Time shows were due to start, the chaos had calmed enough that regular programming was resumed.

During the endless live local news coverage, all the major stations had their helicopters circling the hospital where the infected person is isolated…….endlessly circling……and circling…….and circling……providing hours of endless views of every inch of the roof and exterior of the hospital…………while harried news anchors kept reminding viewers every 30 seconds that they were watching LIVE footage of the hospital………..you know, the hospital where the poor victim that will lead to the premature deaths of ALL OF US!!!………..is being treated.

THE DEATHS OF ALL OF US!!!

Two hours since word got out: Update

FOX NEWS NOW REPORTING THAT EBOLA OUTBREAK IN TEXAS WAS CRAFTED BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IN ORDER TO DRAW MEDIA ATTENTION AWAY FROM SYRIA AND ISIS, WHICH WAS CRAFTED BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IN ORDER TO DRAW MEDIA ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE CRISIS ON THE US/MEXICO BORDER, WHICH WAS CRAFTED BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO DRAW MEDIA ATTENTION AWAY FROM OBAMACARE, WHICH WAS CRAFTED BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO DRAW MEDIA ATTENTION AWAY FROM BENGHAZI.

Sad thing is many millions in the country actually will find that to be perfectly logical.

Three Hours since word got out: Update

Local Health Officials cannot release name of infected person. Cannot release details as to where exactly he was staying. Cannot release details as to businesses or locations he might have visited in Dallas area prior to going to hospital. Cannot release exact details on flights and airlines that he traveled on. Cannot release any information at all on this matter.

Asks public to report to health officials if they believe they may have had contact with this person. This person that they know nothing about, that they have no information on where he has been around town, who he may have contacted, etc. But hey, if ya got the sniffles, and ya live in North Texas, you might want to consult your Doctor.

Reporter asks Doctor as to the exact symptoms the victim was experiencing. Doctor cannot release that info due to privacy laws. Reporter asks Doctor what symptoms people are supposed to look out for. Doctor says “fever is one sign”…………

Within seconds……… 44,000 thousand people in North Texas, all with fevers, or those who think they have fever, start running for local emergency rooms.

The first rumblings of the total collapse of society as we know it has begun.

Time to check my pantry. Pretty bare. I better get to the store before the mass hysteria sets in. Oh wait, this is rural Texas……….. the mass hysteria will cause a run on the gun shops first…….. the grocery stores should be quiet for days yet.

My Sister-in-Law, who lives in Dallas, has chimed in, wondering if the infected person shopped at her local Target store. Christy, I would avoid the store if you see Haz-Mat trucks outside the next time you go there.

4 hours post news……

Dallas County has activated their Emergency Operations Center. Highly-trained personnel are now sitting in a darkened war-room watching endless hours of live coverage of the exterior of the hospital being provided by the media helicopters. (Except for one TV in the corner that is showing a “Big Bang Theory Rerun)

Update: 9:39PM

“Customer sneezes in local Wal-Mart, dozens injured in stampede out of building that ensued”

Like I said……

The end is near.

To be continued.